


Impasse

by hanahikari



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Gen, another old thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 02:44:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10844853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanahikari/pseuds/hanahikari
Summary: Rin pleads with Kakashi, "Go back!"Kakashi pleads with Rin, "Come back!"One word to describe their situation: impasse.There's no way out.No one will back down.Rin knows this, but Kakashi doesn't.This is the story of the day that changed their lives.





	1. To Hide

**Author's Note:**

> Written way back 5/9/13. This is another one-shot in two parts thing.
> 
> Initially posted in FF.net; posted on 5/7/17 here on AO3.

“I can’t go back. I can never go back.”

My whisper fell like a feather in the middle of the forest.

They sealed the Sanbi in me, and I heard them whispering about unleashing it on Konoha once I was rescued and taken home.

I can’t look up at him.

“What are you talking about, Rin?” he hissed, and continued to pull me by my wrist to get me to stand up.

We kept our voices hushed, so they won’t hear.

When I didn’t move, he kneeled by me, “Let’s get you out of here! Kai!” as he held out a hand sign to dispel genjutsu.

“I am not under a genjutsu! Kakashi!”

I held him by his shoulders to force him to look at me and stared into his jet black eye.

I saw how his brows are furrowed in anger.

“ _Please_. Please listen to me. Go back to Konoha, inform Hokage-sama of the situation, but forget about rescuing me. Leave me here! There’s no turning back for me!”

“Rin! No!”

“Kakashi, please. I’m begging you. Save yourself and the village. Go back and leave me here!”

His face suddenly softened into something akin to pain.

“Rin, you know about my promise to Obito, right? I can’t just leave you just because you told me so! Let’s get you home, and let’s find a way out of this together!”

Together.

Like **a team**.

I’m sorry, Minato-sensei, but I’m about to break everything you’ve taught us so far.

“You don’t understand, Kakashi...”

It’s a lose-lose situation.

“Can’t you see it?”

I can feel my tears welling up.

If we get back to Konoha, they’re going to trigger the seal release, unleashing the Sanbi, wrecking the village and causing chaos and havoc.

And death.

Konoha will be at its most vulnerable.

I’m going to die.

If we escape from here without returning to the village, Kiri will hunt both of us down.

They won’t allow me nor Kakashi to exit their territory.

They could easily find another Konoha shinobi—they can even use Kakashi—to be another Jinchuuriki and use him as bait.

Surely, Sensei will come and rescue him once he hears about this.

Like they did to me.... That is—

If I died.

“If you’re not coming with me peacefully, then I’d have to force you.”

This time, he tugged at my arm more forcefully, and half-dragged, half-carried me through the forest to the general direction of Konoha.

I act like this, so he would leave me.

But in fact, I wish I could live longer, and even now I shudder thinking about my impending doom.

But I am a **shinobi** , and I am to **endure** and **hide**.

“Kakashi, stop! Let go of me!” I frantically whispered, trying to remove my arm from his grasp.

He kept silent and trudged on, never letting go of me.

I can’t do anything against his vice-grip on me.

For now, I’ll have to pretend… play along, so they won’t notice…

“Fine! I’m going with you! Just let go of my hand.”

I said that loudly and deliberately so they would pick it up.

By now, the Kiri shinobi would be rejoicing.

Victory is at hand.

This was the initial step of the plan.

“Enemies, behind!” Kakashi raged, looking back at the forest behind us.

Sharp as always.

Now, they had sent out a battalion of their Jounin-level and ANBU corps to go after us, just to make it look like they’re chasing us.

But it is all a coy to hasten our return to Konoha.

Kakashi knows nothing about it.

I have to find a way out.

A way to get us out.

“Kakashi, kill me now! Now!”

I kept my voice low.

It was an order.

“What?!?”

“They…”

I hesitated, but this is for him, for the village of Konoha—if not for me.

“They’re using me, Kakashi! I might end up attacking Konoha!”

“I don’t understand! You will never attack Konoha!”

Then we were silent for a while.

Even I could feel them closing in.

“For the last time, Rin, I’ll tell you again. I promised Obito that I’d protect you. There’s no way I can do that! There has to be another way…”

He trailed off.

I could hear it in his voice.

**Hope.**

But I know better.

There is none of that ‘hope’ in this situation.

“It’s my mission to bring you home, and it’s my promise to keep you safe. ‘Those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their friends are worse than trash!’ But now that the mission and your safety are one, I can’t afford to fail!”

Thank you, Kakashi.

You finally understand how Obito’s mind worked when he was alive.

I’m really, really glad you changed your mind about things...

But...

Don’t you know it’s an **impasse**?

Soon we reached the border.

“Quick, we’re almost there!”

Then he stiffened, and landed on his feet on the ground, in the middle of a clearing.

“More of them!” he breathed, as he lifted his hitai-ate to reveal the Sharingan.

They surrounded us from all sides.

But they won’t harm us.

I have to get to the village for their plan to succeed, after all.

“It’s too late... there’s no way—”

“Listen, Rin. There’s a hole in their formation, 2 o’clock.”

If only you knew, Kakashi...

You’re falling into the trap.

“Kakashi, go through that opening and run! Run away! We’re outnumbered!”

He paid no attention at all.

The chirping of a thousand birds filled my hearing.

“No, you go ahead,” he said, his voice and eyes steely, “I’m going to take care of them. I’ll cover your back!”

I’d like to believe.

That there really was a way out.

That we were going to be safe.

That the village was going to be safe.

Maybe even have Minato-sensei here and save us again, like last time.

Hah! How dishonourable of me, to hope to be saved… like I wasn’t a shinobi!

 **Endure** and **hide**.

Even so, I ran, ran as fast as my weary legs can take me.

The moment I took off, I could hear a hundred feet thudding on the ground and charging at him.

And then his own light feet.

Maybe I should have looked a last time at his mismatched eyes and his silver hair.

I sure wish I could see what’s behind his mask—

There is a way to do that.

Mist and what seemed like rain filled the air.

Must be their Suiton jutsus flying about.

It’s now or never.

I turned around, and dashed blindly into the cold and wet battlefield.

But the chirping guided me to where he is, and sure enough I found him charging toward a Kirigakure ANBU.

Chidori.

One Thousand Birds.

So many drawbacks on this technique, pointed out by Sensei during the Kannabi Bridge mission.

Straight-line attack, requires a lot of speed; he could only use it for 1-2 times a day and no more.

Tunnel-like vision, but that was bridged over when he acquired the Sharingan.

Use of the Sharingan and the amount of chakra released and concentrated on his hand meant that it’s incredibly draining, thus the limit on the amount of times of usage.

I can’t believe I’m about to use all these weaknesses against its creator.

I pumped chakra into my feet and leaped high from where I was.

I don’t think he has noticed me yet.

Everything was slow motion.

I looked down and saw the ANBU frozen in place, Kakashi a couple of meters from him, hand drawn back to thrust the Chidori.

 _Rin_.

It meant ‘cold’ and ‘severe’.

Maybe I _am_ Rin.

Gravity took hold of me, and I felt a strange kind of peace when it did.

Maybe it was death.

As I descended, like a leaf floating in the breeze, I saw his mismatched eyes widen gradually.

I’m sorry, Kakashi.

I don’t know if you really had any amount of concern for me, if you only thought of me as a burden, if you only cared for me just because Obito wished for it before his own death.

So, I don’t know how this will affect you.

I didn’t even have any courage to tell you how I really feel about you.

But in spite of that, sorry, if I’m going to leave you alone.

We were supposed to be a team of three, right?

Team Minato.

I deserve a scolding from Sensei, just like the ones you often got from him whenever you and Obito would fight.

I’m really sorry for being selfish like this.

I wish Minato-sensei would take care of you after this, and comfort you with thoughts like, “You’re teammates are already happy in the other world, and they’re going to watch over you.”

Yes—there, in the next world, where there are no wars and everything is at peace and there is no pain.

Oh, I’m going to watch over you and Sensei, alright.

Isn’t that what I’ve always done, even now?

I put on a brave face and stared straight at you, in response to your shock.

Still, as your hand pierced clean straight through my heart, I can’t help but feel the surging sensation of pain through my body.

Huge damage.

Main vessels cut off. Heavy bleeding. 6 ribs broken. Lungs punctured, filling with liquid. Major nerves cut off.

Are those tears… or is that the rain?

What a shame, I must have let the pain show on my face for you to look like that.

I failed on my last mission as a shinobi.

Before I blackout and fade into darkness, I want to tell you…

“Kakashi…”

But instead, I spluttered blood, and I could feel my legs giving way beneath me.

I’m too late.

Before my eyes close and remain forever closed, you bowed your head and shut your eyes.

Don’t look like that. We’re going to see each other again.

Our team together again.

I just hope you and Sensei don’t follow too soon though!

Oh, tell me when Kushina-san and Minato-sensei are having a child, alright? I’m sure Sensei will be very happy…

I never got to see the face under your mask after all.

Please live long and be happy.

For Obito and the gift he gave you, if not for me.

I love you, Kakashi; I really do.

But now, you will never hear it from me…

Goodbye… for now.

Until we meet again.


	2. To Endure

“I can’t go back. I can never go back.”

Her whisper drifted and became nothing.

I looked down at her bowed head, and can’t help but feel uneasy by the way she calmly sat there, like she wasn’t kidnapped.

“What are you talking about, Rin?”

I hissed.

Get up! They’re going to get us!

Maybe it’s a genjutsu, to twist her mind and say things she doesn’t intend to say.

I kneeled, “Let’s get you out of here! Kai!”

“I am not under a genjutsu! Kakashi!”

She held me by my shoulders.

She really didn’t look like she’s under a genjutsu, her face looks calm and sure…

But…

There’s something off about it.

“ _Please_. Please listen to me. Go back to Konoha, inform Hokage-sama of the situation, but forget about rescuing me. Leave me here! There’s no turning back for me!”

This is getting ridiculous.

“Rin! No!”

I tugged harder at her wrist.

“Kakashi, please. I’m begging you. Save yourself and the village. Go back and leave me here!”

How can I ever leave her?

It’s just the two of us now, and Sensei.

I don’t want to go ahead and be stupid for a second time.

“Rin, you know about my promise to Obito, right? I can’t just leave you just because you told me so! Let’s get you home, and let’s find a way out of this together!”

Like **a team**.

What Minato-sensei tried to drive into both of our skulls, Obito’s and mine, when we were still a complete team.

“You don’t understand, Kakashi...”

Yes, I don’t understand!

Why are you acting this way?

“Can’t you see it?”

See what?

And as I looked into her russet eyes, I think I found it.

All light was gone.

This wasn’t the Rin I’ve known.

Rin is always smiling. The peacemaker. She is strong and willing to fight for what she thought was right.

Don’t tell me… you’ve given up hope, Rin!

I would not accept this.

“If you’re not coming with me peacefully, then I’d have to force you.”

I pulled her off the ground, and dragged her through the treetops.

If I have to never let go of her and drag her all the way until we reach Konoha, then so be it.

“Kakashi, stop! Let go of me!”

Her voice was shaky, jerking her wrist from my grasp.

I would never let go.

Only if she said she’d come home will I set her free.

“Fine! I’m going with you! Just let go of my hand.”

I let go, even if there was something wrong in how she said that.

I kept my pace ahead of her, and she followed without fail.

“Enemies, behind!”

For all times for them to find us out…

We’re still in the middle of their territory!

There’s a whole bunch of them behind us.

20? No, 50!

50 or more…

I have to get us out of here quick.

I increase my pace, Rin close behind.

Suddenly…

“Kakashi, kill me now! Now!”

It sounded nothing like a request or a plea.

It was an order.

“What?!?”

How can I do such a thing?

First, I let Obito die, now you want me to kill you with my own hands?

You, whose life he entrusted to me… just what are you thinking?!?

“They…”

She paused.

“They’re using me, Kakashi! I might end up attacking Konoha!”

“I don’t understand! You will never attack Konoha!”

It is your home.

Our home!

We are shinobi of Konoha; it is our duty to protect Konoha!

Obito died protecting the village, and now…

“For the last time, Rin, I’ll tell you again. I promised Obito that I’d protect you. There’s no way I can do that! There has to be another way…”

It is not an impasse!

There must be something… anything!

Anything at all… to save you.

“It’s my mission to bring you home, and it’s my promise to keep you safe. ‘Those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their friends are worse than trash!’ But now that the mission and your safety are one, I can’t afford to fail!”

I don’t want to make the same mistake again.

Not now, not ever.

I abandoned her before, I don’t want to do it the second time around.

Then the border came in sight.

“Quick, we’re almost there!”

Oh—

“More of them!”

I adjusted my hitai-ate to unleash the Sharingan.

Obito’s gift will be the one to protect Rin, along with the jutsu I completed because of it!

They formed a dense circle around us.

I positioned myself to protect her.

“It’s too late... there’s no way—”

“Listen, Rin. There’s a hole in their formation, 2 o’clock.”

“Kakashi, go through that opening and run! Run away! We’re outnumbered!”

Go and be free!

Chidori!

“No, you go ahead. I’m going to take care of them. I’ll cover your back!”

She looked hard at me, but soon ran off toward the break in their formation.

They let her go, while they charged and barraged me with all the Suiton jutsus in their arsenals.

They’d finish me first before they finish her.

That’s their plan.

Water fell all around me in droves like rain.

I sped my way through them, lancing with the Chidori.

5, 15, 35, 40… and yet there’s still more.

But I’m not going to give up soon.

There’s no way I will ever do that.

I spotted one Kirigakure ANBU who totally had his guard down.

Foolishness!

And I dashed straight at him.

Then…

Black, pink, black, brown.

Time slowed down.

Rin descended right on my path.

Why?

I can’t stop.

I want to but I can’t.

I’m going too fast.

And yet…

Her face held a resolute look, which is really out of place.

Beautiful and fearless.

The face of a woman tempered with great adversity.

And that was replaced with intense agony and suffering in a heartbeat.

And I could see her chakra circulatory system shut down slowly but surely.

I mourned, and so did Obito’s eye.

She looked at me through her pain, and breathed my name, “Kakashi…”

And she coughed out blood, went limp, her eyes closing.

Eyes that will never see the light again.

No!

Don’t look at me like that…

I… I don’t deserve it.

Slowly but surely, the chakra within her drifted away.

I bowed down and shut my eyes firmly to prevent myself from seeing anymore…

Hah, like that would make a difference.

Tears flowed freely even with the barrier.

I have now witnessed both of my teammates’ death.

And both are my fault.

I held her shoulder with one hand, and pulled away my bloody arm.

More blood spurted from where I pierced her chest.

I squeezed her shoulder.

I don’t want to let her go.

Hoping beyond hope that she will respond.

She will ask me, “Why are you bloodied like that? It’s the Chidori, isn’t it? Here, let me heal that.”

But no.

She never did.

She’s gone.

I surrendered, and let her body fall back on the ground with a sickly mix of a thud and a splatter.

The rain continued to patter all around us.

I heard, “He got us. After we worked so much to get it!”

What does that mean?

I don’t get it!

“Rin…”

You were a shinobi, but you didn’t have to **hide** and **endure** alone.

I fell to my knees.

We could have overcome this together.

As a team.

Team Minato.

This is just too much.

I broke my promise.

It’s just me and Sensei now, _if_ the enemy decides to let me live.

I wish they would just kill me too.

Why does it have to be this way?

Obito and Rin had gone ahead to a place where they will no longer suffer, where there are no wars, where there is no pain, where there is no hate.

And I’m **alone** now…

Stuck in this world of **suffering** , **war** , **pain** and **hate** —until, maybe, somebody came along to destroy me.

Maybe then, I could be with you, the three of us together.

We can watch over Minato-sensei, Kushina-san and, maybe, their future child.

Maybe we could guide this child to change this system and the future…

So that no one will have to receive the same fate as you and Obito did…

1, 2, 3 tomoe.

They spin and reform.

Strange, how I know this.

My eye was closed, and Obito’s was blurred with tears.

And everything sunk into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it?


End file.
